mental health; wellbeing; personal development
Have you ever been questioning whether you really have the actual need to turn to a psychotherapist or it is just a fashion? Is it all in your hands and do you have exactly what you need to deal with your own thoughts, emotions, behaviour and to navigate your own life in the right for you direction? It has become a"modern lifestyle" to have the need to approach an expert for a treatment.
And the mental health became a product that we must buy by visiting a psychotherapist- the modern lifestyle insists.
Research shows that psychotherapists in Switzerland receive the highest salary in their field - an average of 88 304 dollars a year. The recommendations that you will receive from these expensive specialists do not differ much from the ones that almost every psychotherapist will give you.
Germany - average annual salary of a psychotherapist is 28 000 Euro .
UK - The average annual salary for a Psychotherapist is £ 44 300 ; in Canada it is between 60 000 -70 000 $ ; in Australia around 62 000 AU$ ;
Russia ; from 83 900 RUB (lowest) to 260 000 RUB(highest) monthly salary.
Overall good earnings, amazing statistics.
And if you ask someone who has just left a psychotherapist's office what they have learned, you will hear one of the following answers. And this is not because people simply do not have these problems, but because the answers are simply universal for most people.
Why pay a lot of money if you can find the answers you need yourself?
Many of your problems come from your childhood
How did your parents behave when you were little? What were their motives? There are so many theories that explain why our problems come from our childhood. If you can understand why your parents did this or that in a certain situation, you will be able to forgive them and take a huge step towards accepting yourself as you are.
Most problems only exist in your head
The inner dialogue you have with yourself : "I had to answer differently" or "He did it because ..." is absolutely useless. We can't explain other people's actions - they grew up in a different atmosphere, they had their own experiences that are different from yours. Therefore, when you try to understand the reasons for someone else to act in one way or another, you are faced with the problems that you are actually creating yourself.
Talk more about your feelings, don't judge others
"I suffer because it caused me this."
"What have I done?" How to avoid evaluating a situation?
When you accuse someone of something, he or she usually tries to defend himself or herself. However, if you express your feelings, you will give the other person a chance to correct what he has done, to preserve his dignity and to explain his position.
You need to care more about your own life and not how the life of the others looks like.
It is not healthy to compare yourself with others all the time. Everyone has their own knowledge. Their own lifestyle, interests, finances, their own physical shape and personal qualities, desires and achievements.
If you are inspired by someone's ideas, that's great - you shape your own desires and goals. But if you constantly envy the other's life ( or just the way their life looks from outside) you are destroying your personal being, which you should enjoy.
Set your own boundaries and don't let others cross them.
In most of the cases, people who visit psychologists or psychotherapists try to find a solution to a problem that has arisen when interacting with other people.
Example: Their mother-in-law always annoys them, their boss is angry, and so on.
The simple way is to set clear boundaries. If you tolerate someone's bad treatment and accept it nothing will change.
If you decide to set your own rules and boundaries, the person in front of you will have no other option but to start to respect you as well as your decisions or to leave.
Take a small step towards each other every day
A habit is formed after 20 days and is "programmed" in your mind for 20 days.
Psychologists recommend that you always take a step towards each other. This means that if you can't say "thank you" to someone, your friend for example, write down all his good deeds for each day. After thanking him for the little gestures, you will realize that he/she is not so bad.
Be more careful and gentle with the changes you make or you try to make.
When you try to change something, don't overdo it.
If you have some family problems and know how to improve the situation, do it yourself. You have a choice, of course - you can change yourself and end it all, or force your loved ones to do what you want and help you maintain an unstable atmosphere. The choice is up to you.You have to be willing to accept defeat and accept that you cannot achieve everything. Don't think again and again and don't think that the time you spend at work is wasted.
Sit down and analyze the specific situation and very soon you will choose the right direction and step forward boldly.
Avoid torturing thoughts about yourself and treat yourself as a good friend.
You will grow the ability to accept the fact that it is equally possible to lose as it is to win and come to terms with the fact that you have no control over everything. It is not absolutely necessary to control it all.
Don't think about a situation over and over again.
The time you have invested in a situation has not been wasted as you learned good lessons from your own mistakes or the mistakes of the people involved. Only then will you be able to take your own right path again.
And a little wisdom goes long way it may give you exactly what you need now :
My Bird, by Kalina Pavlova ; age 13
A man managed to catch a bird with his bare hands and wanted to take it home, to cook it and eat it with his children. But to his surprise, the bird spoke.
"Sir, you've eaten so much cow and sheep in your life." Do you think that meat from my little body can satisfy your hunger? Release me, and in return I will give you three wise pieces of advice.
The man preferred to hear the wisdom of the bird and therefore released it.
The bird flew to the opposite tree and said its first piece of advice:
Don't believe absurd promises, no matter what they tell you, even talking birds.
Then the bird flew to the roof of the nearest house and from there said its third piece of advice:
Do not regret the wasted chance. Under my wing is the biggest pearl in the world and with it you and your children would live richly until the end of your days.When he heard this, the man cried like a small child, and the bird turned to him again.
"I told you not to regret the wasted chance and not to believe absurd promises." Do you think my little body can guard the biggest pearl in the world
My third piece of advice is to always learn from your personal experience, not from the words of others.
If you have more tips to share, please, share in the comments below .
A.A Stob, Bulgaria